2012 年 9 月

CATTI 你好

Finally the day is here. I receive the Qualification Certificate of Translation Proficiency today. I owe so many thanks to Ida who got the certificate on behalf of me in Yunnan Normal University and sent it to me by speed.

I feel kind of delighted and proud, but these feelings have gone at an amazing speed. I know my problem that I have been caught in the nervousness during the preparation of the national post-graduate entrance examination where I have failed last year. I’m quite abhorrent of what I’m not good at. So that’s why I think I will probably fail in it this year once again. However, maybe things can be improved before they are going too bad to handle.

My mind flashes back to those days when I prepared for CATTI (China Accreditation Test for Translators and Interpreters). The winds of winter waited for me outside of the dormitory and I just insisted on going to have the self-study of the night. Hardship would complain of the wrongs it suffered if it could speak. We thank it when it brings us satisfying results and we curse it when it’s just a waste of time. I don’t quite understand how Marxism-Leninism explains such an issue but I know it is not merely diligence that enables us to manage to do something that we want. We need cooperation, hardship, or maybe just good luck. Sometimes, the good weather will do, too. Success is such a thing of magic – it’s a delicate integration of many things of which some are not what we had wanted or expected. …

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Wanna cry? Then cry.

The day when we took the grad photo, I got to the basketball court quite late. Because that day may be an important one, but it was here before I could realized that. The basketball court where we were supposed to take the photo was filled with people taking pictures with close friends and classmates. I had disliked taking or being taken photos, my skills of taking a good photo and showing smart in the photo are disappointing, whose reason maybe had been destined. Owen dashed to me and pulled me to their line where Enzo and Loïc also stood there. Flash! Ah, another ugly image was born because of me.

I hadn’t seen Enzo for long. We became quite estranged since he forsaken Irène a dozen of days after he went to Irène’s for the night and had sex with her when her parents were out. All of us in the same department knew that he may had liked his Arabian language teacher, Miss MA. I felt so shocked and gloomy when I came to know they three’s complicated relationship. While I don’t mean I had been involved in their nasty things but just because I thought that it was becoming increasingly difficult for us to know somebody well before we see his disgusting internal side. …

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我的父亲,我不知道

有时候,我是那么深切地理解你,我的父亲;可有时候,我又那么怨恨你。我也想多陪陪你,跟你说说话,可又怕惹你生气,让你发火。

我梦想中的城市是广州。纵然是钢筋水泥的冷酷森林,我相信我可以凭借一己之力有立足之地。而你,却想我在南京定居,由你给我付个首付,然后爷俩一起奋斗,一起还剩下的贷款。你说,如果让你在广州买房,你绝对力不从心。

可是,父亲,我绝没有想过,以后我的住所,要建立在你如此的艰辛之上。

我还记得小学时代的那些夏日,但其他伙伴都在外面玩耍的时候,我只能听你的命令,在屋里睡午觉。即便有伙伴们在外面喊我,你也不许我应。甚至,你告诉我,应该交哪些朋友,应该远离什么样的人。

我是多么想告诉你,我并非不感激你的照顾与呵护,只是,我无法承受更多的你的关切的目光——它们我是多么想告诉你,我并非不感激你的照顾与呵护,只是,我无法承受更多的你的关切的目光——它们重如千斤,将我压迫得喘不过气来。 …

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