Wanna cry? Then cry.

The day when we took the grad photo, I got to the basketball court quite late. Because that day may be an important one, but it was here before I could realized that. The basketball court where we were supposed to take the photo was filled with people taking pictures with close friends and classmates. I had disliked taking or being taken photos, my skills of taking a good photo and showing smart in the photo are disappointing, whose reason maybe had been destined. Owen dashed to me and pulled me to their line where Enzo and Loïc also stood there. Flash! Ah, another ugly image was born because of me.

I hadn’t seen Enzo for long. We became quite estranged since he forsaken Irène a dozen of days after he went to Irène’s for the night and had sex with her when her parents were out. All of us in the same department knew that he may had liked his Arabian language teacher, Miss MA. I felt so shocked and gloomy when I came to know they three’s complicated relationship. While I don’t mean I had been involved in their nasty things but just because I thought that it was becoming increasingly difficult for us to know somebody well before we see his disgusting internal side.

OK, sorry for wandering off the point and now back to that must-say-goodbye day. After the grad photo, I had lost myself for sevral minutes. Fortunately, the classmates were soon engaged in taking more photos individually or with others. I dunno when it ended after taking photos with almost everyone respectively in the class – I felt worse. But maybe that was how it should be brought to an end. Those once were ignored now held your throat, transforming your “I will miss you” to “Goodbye”.

That day’s dinner was taken in Origus by going Dutch. I first thought that the atmosphere was terrible on account of the quietness but soon I found that was just right. I did expect some touching and moving scenes but I knew I was not able to handle them – I would burst into tears badly than any other did. So that was all there was to it and I knew I should not had any other complaints. To my great delight, Aude managed to be with us. I liked her because of her kindness more than her beauty. After the dinner, we departed. She was newly married then. I went to bar with Moon, Echo, Léa and some others. We had a great time but that was just added to my pains.

I had known that I was wrong, always and forever. But I can never make a change. Maybe I even enable myself to enjoy such mournful feelings. That’s all what I can do. When you wanna cry, don’t try to smile, just cry in a low voice, which is far better than controlling your true emotions. I know it’s this thought that has conformed to my current situation perfectly.

I miss you all, my friends.