毕业

请你告诉我为何悲伤

一花一叶同样可以承载记忆,遗憾的是,我们的记忆大抵是关于人的。这多少让我有些许的失落。不探究和依附人性已有多年,而今又要面对“人”的走失,内心却仍旧难掩波澜。

多年以前,觉得人和人性的常态是好的,充满吸引力。当年的雨夜、酣醉、眼泪和亲吻历历在目,只是现在想起来,总是带着一丝不堪。那些年,我们还不关注眼角的细纹,每年递次增长的年龄是生活中可以近乎不计的一个变量;我们同样也不关注话语里的微颤,即便是谎言,也依然令人欢颜;我们更不在乎彼此许下了怎样的承诺,尽管有时明白这些承诺的沉重,只是觉得来日方长,年轻永恒,似乎没有什么是无法实现的,总是陷入唯意志论的甜蜜漩涡里。终于,我们开始意识到时日增长,来自外界和自己的压力慢慢积聚,成为骆驼背上的那捆稻草;我们终于不再耐受甜腻的谎言,令人不适的症状只能由残酷的揭穿和争吵来化解;我们也终于明白,有些人,此生再也无法相见。

此生不复相见有时并非一件会产生疼痛感的事情。正因为如此,那些争吵,和那些亲吻,才会带着一种不计后果,不留后路的决绝,痛快!唯唯诺诺的人们又岂会知道,将一些人和事永久地镶嵌在记忆里,比起强颜欢笑,又何尝不需要更多的勇气。真的十分庆幸,我们都是这样缺乏技巧和直截了当的人,避免了今后很长一段时间的尴尬。 …

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Wanna cry? Then cry.

The day when we took the grad photo, I got to the basketball court quite late. Because that day may be an important one, but it was here before I could realized that. The basketball court where we were supposed to take the photo was filled with people taking pictures with close friends and classmates. I had disliked taking or being taken photos, my skills of taking a good photo and showing smart in the photo are disappointing, whose reason maybe had been destined. Owen dashed to me and pulled me to their line where Enzo and Loïc also stood there. Flash! Ah, another ugly image was born because of me.

I hadn’t seen Enzo for long. We became quite estranged since he forsaken Irène a dozen of days after he went to Irène’s for the night and had sex with her when her parents were out. All of us in the same department knew that he may had liked his Arabian language teacher, Miss MA. I felt so shocked and gloomy when I came to know they three’s complicated relationship. While I don’t mean I had been involved in their nasty things but just because I thought that it was becoming increasingly difficult for us to know somebody well before we see his disgusting internal side. …

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